Christmas Countdown!

Christmas is the time of year for giving.  Or getting and then giving.  Allow me to explain myself.  I love giving gifts that give back to me.  I know that my girlfriend really enjoyed that “make your own beer” kit I got for her birthday!  Kidding.  Maybe.

Here are the top ten gifts to get your special someone.  They’ll think they are for them, but little do they know, you will also reap the benefits of the harvest.

10) Magazine Subscriptions: Who doesn’t love opening their mailbox to a monthly subscription of the latest and greatest in food?  It sure beats a Verizon phone bill! I already bought myself Bon Appétit (a steal at $12 a year) but Saveur, Gastronomica, and Cooks Illustrated are all welcome additions.

9) Cookbooks: I convinced myself that I couldn’t possibly live without the Flour and Tartine Bread cookbooks so I jumped the gun and bought them for myself.  These books are great starts, but Larousse Gastronomique, Starting with Ingredients, and The Flavor Thesaurus will round out my collection.

8 ) Bacon of the Month Club: I might ironically cut my jeans into jorts if another hipster mentions bacon candy, candied bacon, “gourmet” bacon bits, bacon ice cream, bacon bullshit blah blah in my presence.  I get it, bacon is all the rage these days.  I’d rather treat myself to a real slab of bacon than to essence of bacon pureé.  Zingerman’s sells a 3 month subscription for only $99.  That’s less than your local hipster paid for his ironic yerba maté frappé.

7) Toddy Cold Brew System: Brew smooth coffee without any of the bitter aftertaste.  Seriously, this is how real coffee drinkers brew their java.  To top it off, grab a bag of Dreamy Coffee from this Sag Harbor establishment.

6) Stanley Flask: Bear Grylls would drink Survivorman under the campfire with this badass flask.

5) Dinner at any of the following locales: Craigie on Main, T.W. Food, Lineage, Harvest.

4)Winter CSA Share: Lamenting the lack of legumes?  Want to cook from scratch using local ingredients?  Sign up for a winter CSA share from your nearest farm.  It’s a bit more expensive, but isn’t everything worth having just a little more?

3) NSFW: For the kitchen humorist.  Thank you, Top Chef.

2) SPEECHLESS IT’S SO COOL: Are you even kidding me? A drill with a CORKSCREW attachment?  Now I can satisfy my manly urge to screw AND drink while operating heavy machinery!

1) For the person who has everything: Why not a “Damascus bladed, whale carved elk horn with scrimshaw” knife from Nel Jewelry. Kidding.  Only maybe.


2 responses to “Christmas Countdown!

  1. I would like you to know that directly below this post, there appeared an ad. For this. From Wal-Mart.

    Merry Christmas, one and all!

  2. Is that a Coca-Cola flask inspired by a Christmas tree ornament? Brilliant! Pretty pissed there’s an ad for Wal-Mart. The High Cost of Low Price.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s