Mr. Speaker, Mr. Vice President, members of Congress, distinguished guests, and fellow Americans:
Tonight I want to congratulate the reunification of Farmer Scott and Blogger Scott. As many of you may well know, it has been 44 days since we have had a joint session of Congress. During this break, Farmer Scott and Blogger Scott (abbr. FS and BS) have been debating hotly contested topics such as fiscal deficits, which meals to cook for dinner, and how many hours of beauty sleep the Constitution allows for.
But tonight, I am pleased to announce that we have reached a “New Deal” of sorts. In spite of long working hours, FS has agreed to grant several days a week to BS to write a more consistently hilarious blog.
That being said, I don’t want to weigh you down with any rhetoric tonight. Friends, instead I am going to pull a Weiner and show you a bunch of pictures of what I have been doing. Safe for work, of course.
Thank you, God bless you, and may God bless the USA.